The Place Where They Crush Rocks

In hopes of assessing how different interns experienced their different internships, IJM HeadQuarters asks us to fill out an extensive feedback form. I filled 10 pages with raw emotion and found myself surprised at how quickly words flew onto each page. It feels good to have answers, where once I had questions. It feels good to have an incredible picture painted, where once there was only a blank canvas. Another year lived, friendships made, lessons learned, and so many people rescued from bondage. I certainly cannot say that last bit about any other year in my life.

While filling out the HQ feedback form with my exhaustive stories, I ran across this question: “What were your most significant experiences?” Oh that one’s easy! Check out my answer below…

The 3 operations and the one Freedom Training I went on were the most significant experiences not only in my internship, but my entire life. I knew a good deal about slavery before I came on this internship, but I had never SEEN it before. And when I learned about modern day slavery, it was usually sex-trafficking that was highlighted, not bonded labour. This internship, and especially those trips, taught me the in’s and out’s of bonded labour and put a face on it. I will ALWAYS cherish the faces of the children that I played with on those operations: beautiful and wonderful children, recently freed children. The first two operations I participated in, we did not receive release certificates for the victims and the owners were particularly hostile. On the second operation, both staff and victims faced ugly threats from the owners, including the threat of rape directed at my friend and me. I've never felt so angry, so scared, and so small all at the same time. These two incredibly rough operations, both lasting more than one day, sucked life out of me and replaced that life with anger. I was hot, exhausted, dehydrated, and angry. I watched corruption and lawlessness spread like a disease. How can we transform a system that is so broken? I thought I was going to crack under the weight of my anger towards the owners of slaves and all the indifferent onlookers. Slavery is right in their backyard, but they don't know. They don't care. They don't care to know.

But then I saw the little children, with eyes wide open and timid smiles. They gave me energy, when my own was failing. I saw so much life in them, and they looked something like HOPE to me. I ran around with them and danced til I was covered in dirt and sweat. We sat and colored to forget how hot and uncomfortable we were, even though temperatures were rising to 120 degrees F and beyond. We played crazy weird games that we made up as we went and we laughed loudly. I got heat rash, I wore the same clothes for two days straight, I was stained with sweat and grossness. I looked something awful, but I loved those kids harder than I’ve ever loved little children before.

The third operation I went on was a great success compared to my first two, although I’m learning that even successful cases are tempered with small failures along the way. I actually entered a facility run by slaves. My partner and I were told to head to "The place where they crush rocks" to gather labourers. It looked like Hell to me and I felt despair in my heart for people who have to work their whole lives away there. I helped gather the laborourers and pack up their lives, including pots, pans, goats, and chickens! It was chaotic in the sweetest way to watch people escape from this Hellish imprisonment. It felt as though we were taking them from cracking rocks in the insane afternoon sun to being able to work where they want, when they want. Ready, set, freedom! Back at the government office, I hung out with the children again, most of whom had already begun their slave labour at the facility. I was also given the task of filming the enquiry which, although it was not in English, was incredibly fascinating. After a long enquiry process, release certificates were written up. (A release certificate is a piece of paper that signifies legal release from slavery and helps prevent re-capture.) This was the first time I got to see release certificates, 29 of them! They look so simple, but they were the most beautiful pieces of paper I’ve ever seen in my life. The magnitude of what I got to witness will stay with me forever, I just know it. I took loads of pictures and made several little buddies. After a long, successful but stressful day, I got to go on victim drop and accompany 3 families to their home villages. We arrived at each village in the dead of night and found ourselves surrounded by other village members welcoming their neighbors home. It was incredibly powerful as I thought of what home means to me and how grateful I’ll be to see my yard and my home again- and these have been 11 of the greatest months of my life…but still, home is home. One little girl grabbed my hand, pointing excitedly and saying, “My village! My village!” Tears welled in my eyes as she tugged me to her hut and giggled loudly. Her village. I got to take her back to her village. How could anything be more significant than that?

Ready for Love

I could do every good deed known to man. I could rescue slaves and put slave-owners behind bars. I could adopt every orphan and care for every widow. I could cure every sickness and heal every wound. I could be sweet til i'm sick and be more generous than anyone you've ever met. I could empty myself completely and hand out all my pieces...

But have not love?

Then i am a resounding gong, a clanging symbol. I'm a honking horn, screeching tires. I'm a baby screaming at 3 a.m. I'm those nails scraping down that chalkboard. I'm a ringing in your ear that never goes away.

Love makes every difference in the world. What a valuable reminder i was given today in our devotions (1 July 2010). Why would i do this great work if i have no love? Maybe i have love, maybe it's my greatest motivation. Or maybe i do not have love, and i'm doing senseless things and passing them off as meaningful. I'll just have to do some soul searching (one of my favorite activities) and some outside research. Songs, stories, scripture, poetry, films, and life itself should show me a thing or two about love. I'll study up, record my findings, and maybe start living a radically different life, with a radically different love. I'm so ready for that kind of love.

~lauren.susan.